American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile


American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006)

The Naked Mile brings complexity, nudity, straight to DVD

It’s hard to believe it’s been over seven years since we were first witness to the offbeat shenanigans of a group of teenagers whose throbbing libidos had us all in stitches in American Pie.

This week’s selection, American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile, is the fourth sequel to the original film. While the spirit of the film is the same, many of the key actors are missing in action. Imagine if you went to see the latest Ocean’s 11 sequel, but Brad Pitt wasn’t in it. Neither was Matt Damon. Or Julia Roberts. Or Don Cheadle. Or Catherine Zeta-Jones. Or Andy Garcia. Or Casey Affleck. Or Elliot Gould. Or Shaobo Qin. Imagine also that Eugene Levy replaced George Clooney. It would still be a pretty good film, right? Well not nearly as good as The Naked Mile.

Naked Mile still image
The departures of legendary thespians Seann William, Tara Reid and Chris Klein would have doomed any other film series. Heck, in the wrong hands, this could have skipped DVD, and been a direct to VHS film. However, thanks to some brilliant casting by Monika Mikkelson (who you may remember as the casting director from such films as King of the Ants and The Devil’s Rejects), and a superbly crafted script from Erik Lindsay, The Naked Mile avoids falling into that category.

Toronto born actor John White takes on the role of Erik Stifler, cousin of the boisterous Steve Stifler from the early American Pie films. Erik is not the ladies man his cousin Steve was. He is in a relationship with a young girl named Tracy, who is nervous about taking “the next step”.

Not wanting to lose Erik, Tracy offers him a free weekend pass, so he can sew his wild oats. He can plow any field in which he chooses. I’m really getting some use out of that copy of “The Big Book of Farming Sexual Metaphors” that I received for Christmas.

Luckily for Erik, he and a couple of friends are headed off that weekend to visit his cousin Dwight (Steve Stifler’s younger brother) at the University of Michigan. Dwight is a real party animal and a legend of Van Wilder proportions. With Dwight’s help, there is nothing that can stop Erik and his pals from hitting the hay with a veritable bumper crop (wow, more farming metaphors) of lovely young ladies. Well, almost nothing can stop them.

It seems that there is a certain fraternity that thinks of themselves as the big men on campus, and they do not take kindly to the Stiflers and their pals honing in on their turf. The fraternity is comprised entirely of little people, or dwarves. What they may lack in size, they make up for with a huge supply of confidence and gusto. The little people humiliate Team Stifler in an intramural football game, and thwart their attempts to harvest a relationship with several young ladies.

Luckily for all of these youngsters, there is an older, wiser man whom they can consult. Eugene Levy returns once again as Mr. Levenstein, father of the Jim’s character, from the early films. The scenes where Levy offers advice to the confused teenagers are both insightful and poignant. It is clear watching these scenes that Levy continues to do these films not for the bag of money the producers gave him, but because he truly believes in the product.

All of this leads to the big event of the weekend, the naked mile. During this event, hundreds of students run across the University of Michigan campus stark naked. Now some directors would use a scene like this to film gratuitous zoomed in shots of exposed rear ends, and bosoms bobbing up and down with every step. And of course they would – it’s people running naked, after all! What are they going to do, use a camera angle from a blimp?

Now before I recommend this film to you, I must first issue this warning. If you are offended by any of the following, you should think twice before seeing this film:

– Underage drinking
– Pre-marital sex
– Nudity, of both the dwarf and non-dwarf variety
– Male genitalia being used as a baseball bat
– Defecating in washing machines
– Squirting ejaculate onto a grandmother, causing her to have a heart attack and die
– Foul language
– Mature subject matter

If you are fine with viewing all of the above, then what are you waiting for? Run out right away and use those gift cards you received over the holidays to add this instant classic to your video library. Even shut-ins have no excuse – there are plenty of websites that will deliver The Naked Mile right to your doorstep. It is truly the first, only, and best film I have seen all year.

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