Top o’ the morning to ya.
St. Patrick’s Day is fast approaching, so this week I have decided to showcase one of the Emerald Isle’s most acclaimed films. This week I take a look at Leprechaun 4: In Space.
First off, here’s a bit of a synopsis of the Leprechaun story. There have been six films in all. That’s makes twice as many Leprechaun movies as Godfather movies, so obviously it is twice as good. The first one, starring some girl named Jennifer Aniston who unfortunately never amounted to much, was released in 1993. In it, an evil fellow from Ireland does his damndest to hold on to his gold, and leaves a path of carcasses in his wake.
The second and third Leprechaun films featured more of the same. Why mess with perfection, right?
Well, the creative team behind the Leprechaun didn’t see things that way. In 1997, when it was time to release the fourth film, they decided to take the series in a bold new direction – all the way to outer space! They came to the conclusion that a homicidal leprechaun with superpowers just wasn’t special enough anymore. So they sent the little bastard into orbit!
To put this in perspective, this would be like if Steve Spielberg decided to make a fourth Jurassic Park film – but instead of just featuring dinosaurs, there would be singing dinosaurs. On the off chance that Mr. Spielberg is reading this, and you like the singing dinosaur suggestion, I should mention that I am putting the finishing touches on a lovely ballad titled “On the Wings of a Pterodactyl.” I just need to find a harp player. Have your people call my people.
My point is taking the Leprechaun series in such a drastic new direction was a gamble – fortunately it paid off handsomely!
In Leprechaun 4, everyone’s favourite under four-foot horror villain has come up with yet another diabolical plan. He has kidnapped Princess Zarina of the planet Dominia. While at first she is understandably hostile towards him, the two eventually make a deal – they will marry, so that she can benefit from the riches contained within his pot of gold, while he will become a king.
Before they can go forward with their plan, the princess is rescued by a group of intergalactic marines. Debbe Dunning, best known as Tool Time girl Heidi from “Home Improvement,” plays one of them. Clearly, no expense was spared when it came to casting this film.
The marines manage to kill the leprechaun, and one of them decides to celebrate by urinating on his remains. Bad move – do not piss off, or on, a leprechaun.
Just as an aside, I’d like to point out that I have now set the Interrobang record for most uses of the word leprechaun in one article. The previous record was held by the Fashion Fashionista for her September 2005 article titled “10 Sexy Dressing Tips for the Wee Irish Lads.”
The princess is taken aboard the marine’s spacecraft…and so is the leprechaun, who causes more havoc. But how does this happen – he was killed, right? Well, I don’t want to give away too much of the plot, so all I will say is Debbe Dunning’s character causes the urinator to be aroused, and you’ll be absolutely shocked by what comes out of his pants!
Not sold yet? Well this film also features a half-man/half-computer, a gruff Sergeant who is missing half of his head, and a 20-foot tall leprechaun. What more can you ask for? If your answer was gratuitous nudity, then by God, you are in luck.
I wholeheartedly recommend Leprechaun 4: In Space. I also wholeheartedly recommend watching it while drunk. In fact, you probably should have read this article while drunk. That also applies to my reviews of Masters of the Universe and Material Girls.
So this St. Patrick’s Day, you could line up in front of a traditional Irish pub like Molly Bloom’s, The Brass Door or G.T.’s at 9 am in the cold. Or, you could pour yourself a Guinness…and a Kilkenny… and a Baileys, boil some potatoes and pop Leprechaun 4 into your DVD player. Irish eyes will be smiling at you either way.