Bottoms Up

Bottoms Up (2006)

Start spreading the Mewes, Bottoms Up is tops

In Bottoms Up, Mewes plays Owen, a Minnesota bartender who works at his father’s struggling steakhouse. In order to try to save his father’s business, Owen heads to Hollywood so he can enter a bartending competition.

Bottoms Up DVD box artWhile in Hollywood, Owen stays with his Uncle Earl, a closeted, yet extremely flamboyant homosexual. When Owen arrives at his doorstep, Uncle Earl is in the middle of watching gay porn and wearing a “I (heart) Cock” t-shirt. This is clearly the most sensitive portrayal of homosexuality on film since Brokeback Mountain.

So Owen competes in the bartending competition, which involves a bunch of cocky jerks tossing bottles around, catching them and then pouring them in a flashy manner – you know the kind of things bartenders do when they really should just be serving more drinks so the lineup doesn’t get so damn long.

Unfortunately for Owen, he does not come up the winner in what turns out to be a crooked contest.

In order to earn some cash, Owen takes a job from his Uncle Earl, who works as a camera operator for a tabloid television program. Owen ends up getting tangled up in the lives of big time movie star Hayden Field, and his girlfriend Lisa Mancini (Paris Hilton).

Owen and Uncle Earl plan to land an interview with the reclusive star Field, and blackmail his girlfriend Lisa to get them into his inner circle. But wouldn’t you know it, Owen ends up falling for Lisa.

Why wouldn’t he? Just like Paris Hilton in real life, Lisa is a sweet, down to earth girl who gives all of her money to the homeless. Even if Lisa/Paris has the face of a rat, any man would be crazy to not fall head over heels for her.

This is the perfect week for you to pickup Bottoms Up, as Valentine’s Day is approaching. I cannot think of a more alluring romance in the history of cinema than the one between Mewes and Hilton in this film. When they had sex off camera, and most assuredly they did, it must have been magical.

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