Hobo With a Shotgun

Hobo With a Shotgun (2011)

Hobo With a Shotgun is number one with a bullet

Warning: If scenes of topless women beating a homeless man to death with sticks as if he were a piñata disturb you, then you will probably have no interest in the film I will be reviewing this week.

There, now that two per cent of the possible readership has turned the page, allow me to continue with my regularly scheduled column.

While we may have an inferiority complex towards our neighbours to the south, Canadians can take pride in knowing that we do some things better than any other nation in the world. For example, we produce the best hockey players. Also the best darn best maple syrup. Last but not least, nobody does hobo-themed entertainment like Canadians.

From 1963 to 1965, and again from 1979 to 1985, the series The Littlest Hobo captured the hearts of not only Canucks, but millions of people around the world. The program featured a German Shepherd named London who wandered from town to town helping folks he encountered.

Fast forward a few decades and we are introduced to another hobo. Only he’s a man, not a dog. And this Hobo isn’t carrying a bindle. He’s carrying a shotgun, making Hobo With a Shotgun the most aptly titled film of all time, except for the possible exception of Anal Assassins IV.

Rutger Hauer (Blade Runner) stars as the unnamed hobo sporting a firearm. He has just wandered into the crime-ridden hellhole officially named Hope Town, but more popularly referred to as Scum Town. He soon witnesses the town’s kingpin The Drake decapitating his own brother in broad daylight. The beheaded brother is portrayed by Robb Wells, best known as Ricky of the Trailer Park Boys.

That is not the only Trailer Park Boys connection. Hobo meets up with Abby, a lady of the night. That is a classy way of saying dirty, filthy whore. Abby is portrayed by Molly Dunsworth, daughter of Mr. Lahey himself, John Dunsworth. Abby takes in Hobo after he is beaten and left for dead by The Drake’s goons.

Tired of being humiliated, Hobo manages to scrounge up enough funds to buy himself a shotgun. At this point, he turns into a vigilante and a hero to Scum Town’s homeless population (which seem to make up 75 per cent of the entire town). Watching hobo stand up for the downtrodden by mercilessly gunning down criminals is downright inspirational.

Hobo With a Shotgun is entertainment at its finest. As long as you are not a child, elderly, squeamish, easily offended or suffer from a Vitamin C deficiency, you should see this film ASAP. Lastly, if there are any rich investors who happen to be reading my column this week, I am currently working on a script for a sequel to this film. I’m calling it RoboHobo. Have your people call my people.

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