Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies


Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)

Lincoln no slave to zombies

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies

With the exception of George W. Bush, no U.S. President is more revered than the nation’s 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. Just look at his track record. He kept the country together during the Civil War, and he ended slavery. Plus he saved the United States from a zombie onslaught.

Now, you may be thinking, “But Cinema Connoisseur, I thought Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter, not a zombie slayer.” Well, that’s what your history textbooks and the folks at 20th Century Fox would have you believe. Luckily, screenwriter/director Richard Schenkman set the record straight with the release of Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.

When Abraham Lincoln was 10 years old, his community was overrun by the living dead, resulting in the death of both of his parents. At least this is the premise of Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, but I’m sure some dramatic license has been taken. For instance, maybe he was a teenager, but they changed it to make him more sympathetic.

Fast-forward several decades and President Lincoln once again finds himself face to face with zombies. These days it seems like it is difficult to get a politician to do anything. Something as simple as erecting a stop sign has to go through so much red tape that it takes years to accomplish, if it ever gets done. But Lincoln was a man of action, and he heads straight into the battlefield – literally the battlefield, since the Civil War is going on at the time – and enters into a most un-civil war with the flesh eaters.

I cannot say enough about the excellent portrayal of Abraham Lincoln by Bill Oberst Jr. (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Nude Nuns With Big Guns). There have been many actors to portray Lincoln in the past, but no one seemed more worthy to don the stovepipe hat than Oberst. While I was doing research for this review (which involved taking a trip to Los Angeles and rifling through Mr. Oberst’s trash cans), I discovered that he had also played another historically significant person – Jesus. Yes, that Jesus. Oberst portrayed Christ for 10 years in a stage version of Jesus of Nazareth. If he ever lands the lead in a Mr. T biopic, he will have played the three most important men who have ever lived.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is a highly enjoyable film from The Asylum, a studio that produces many terrific movies that have been unfortunately plagiarized by the bigger studios. In 2007, they put out a film called Transmorphers, and lo and behold, two days later, Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay introduced the world to the Transformers. The same thing happened this year when they released American Warships, only to have Battleship sail into theatres days later. Hopefully The Asylum will take the thousands of dollars in profit that they must be making and hire a good lawyer to take these big studio bullies to court.

In a few months, our neighbours to the south will be heading to the polls. Democrats will be singing the praises of Barack Obama, while Republicans will throw their support behind Mitt Romney. There is going to be a lot of rhetoric, false promises and mud slinging. I hope and pray, however, that when the voters head to the ballot box on November 6, they cast their ballot for the candidate that they truly believe can defend their nation from a zombie apocalypse. God bless America.

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