December 18th, 2015 is a date millions of cinephiles have marked on their calendar. That is the day when the latest chapter of one of motion pictures’ most beloved franchises will be released. It is a chapter that I thought would never see the light of day.
It is not that I thought there wasn’t a lot of stories still left to be told involving Alvin, Simon and Theodore, the lovable rodents who have been delighting audiences for over fifty years. I simply thought that they had run out of quality puns to use as secondary titles for future films. I mean it is hard to top The Squeakquel (2009) and Chipwrecked (2011). That’s like painting the Mona Lisa and Dogs Playing Poker back-to-back.
Then I heard about The Road Chip, the fourth installment of the storied Chipmunk franchise. I immediately felt ridiculous for doubting the Chipmunk creative team’s ability to come up with a clever title, and then construct a movie to suit it.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip is clearly going to making a load of money. They’ve got some stiff competition on December 18th. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Sisters arrives that day, as does the new Bruce Willis/Kellan Lutz/Gina Carano flick Extraction. But let’s be honest, if you see anyone camping outside a movie theatre around that date, rest assured, they are there to see what misadventures those scamps Alvin, Simon and Theodore are going to get into on their road trip…. sorry, road chip.
Now I have faith in the Chipmunk team’s ability to come up with winning material, but just in case the well runs dry, I’d like to present my ideas for future releases.
Alvin and The Chipmunks: Poker Chips – Dave is in danger of losing the house, so the Chipmunks decide to take up gambling to raise funds. Kenny Rogers would co-star, reprising his role as Brady Hawkes from The Gambler series. It would work out well, as the same team that does the CGI for the Chipmunk movies also does the CGI for Kenny’s face. Plus then this version of “The Gambler” could get a wider release:
Alvin and The Chipmunks: Munk E-business – This one would take place in the 90s. Alvin hits it big in the dotcom world with a website that allows people to download music.
Alvin and The Chipmunks: Shaolin Munks – Hilarity ensues when Alvin, Simon and Theodore, on the run from a vicious drug dealer, take up residence in a Shaolin Monastery.
Alvin and The Chipmunks: CHiPs-Munks – Starksy and Hutch, The Dukes of Hazzard and The Brady Bunch all got the big screen treatment, so isn’t it about time that the 1977-83 series detailing the adventures of two California Highway Patrol motorcycle officers arrived in your local theatre? Alvin, Simon and Theodore would take on the role of the CHiPs. Original series star Erik Estrada, in a stunning twist, would portray the villain!
Alvin and The Chipmunks: Fish N’ Chips – The Chipmunks go overboard during a fishing trip with Dave, and end up living with a school of fish. I’m not sure how long chipmunks can hold their breath under water, so viewers might have to suspend their disbelief.
So there’s enough ideas to keep this franchise going for the next 15 years, which in turn would generate billions of dollars. You’re welcome.